I go into Daunt Books in Marylebone every couple of weeks. My wife Sara demolishes books, but I only buy stuff occasionally. I like boys' things, spies and the Cold War.

My wife would say I'm not romantic at all, but I would say that I'm the ultimate romancer because I write about... life being brilliant.

Chart positions are for people with manbags who get to work at 11 A.M. because they've been at a digital meeting.

Kylie Minogue is just a demonic little idiot as far as I'm concerned. She gets cool dance producers to work with her for some bizarre reason, I don't know why. She doesn't even have a good name. It's a stupid name, Kylie, I just don't get it.

It's the first time I'm going to be on my own this Christmas and I'm really looking forward to not having any cards or decorations up. So I'll be in London, sit on my couch, arms folded, curtains drawn, having a drink.

I don't think people need to know what colour socks I'm wearing today; I don't think people need to know what shower gel I'm using. There's too much information in the world, and there's no magic or mystery anymore.

I hate that Alex [James] and Damon [Albarn]. I hope they catch AIDS and die.