squats are a form of torture designed by people who don’t need to do squats in the first place

Three weeks hadn't changed Cop Central. The coffee was still poisonous, the noise abominable, and the view out of her stingy window was still miserable. She was thrilled to be back.

I'd rather lie bare-assed naked on the sidewalk and be trampled by tourists from South Dakota than be an accountant.

I find myself fascinated by a man who admits to enjoying fairy tales and uses the word "impinge"- barely misses a beat while indulging in a brief girl-on-girl fantasy. You're a man of layers, Ford." Me and Shrek, we're onions.

"What was that technique you were using on those bastards?" "An ancient form called kicking ass."

Dolls are like small dead people.

There is no disgrace in staying behind, not when it's the right thing.