I was writing for live television. And I said to myself, someday, soon as I can, I have got to do a situation comedy.

When I countered that Archie Bunker didn't have to put down a race of people to say that, he replied, 'and you're the dumbest white kid I've ever met.'

When we went on the air, I didn't want to be interrupted for an act-one curtain.

We got ratings. It isn't that they won't quarrel with you, or say you're always right. But as long as you stay strong and the ratings are good and you're reasonable - I don't think we fought unreasonably. We basically won that right.

We all [Ed Simmons,Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis] started together, so there were no rules - anything we wrote became television.

My dad called me meat head dead from the neck up.

Archie Bunker used to call me 'the laziest white kid he'd ever met.'