I love the eyebrow pencils. I do my brows every day. I won't leave my house without my brows! My beauty disaster from childhood was trying to look like Kate Moss and plucking all my brows off.

I do not tweeze my eyebrows. I've been letting them grow out for years. I try to fill them in wherever nature has abandoned me.

Motherhood is heart-exploding, blissful hysteria.

So are all the kids on the East Coast repeating school next year? Get ready to see a lot of hairy eighth graders. Storm brain drain.

I am so saddened and grossed out by young women who look like creepy, old aliens because of their new Barbie noses and lips. Is that a smile or a grimace?

I love kids with a passion I usually reserve for hot cheese, miniature chairs, and Prince concerts, but I feel no stress to reproduce simply because of a fear of withering eggs.

I have a great pack of female friends, but I also have a lot of guy friends. I believe that platonic relationship is entirely possible.