Parents always make their worst mistakes with their oldest children. That's when parents know the least and care the most, so they're more likely to be wrong and also more likely to insist that they're right.
Sometimes good people have to do terrible things.
Sometimes happiness consists of finding the right balance of misery.
Your ego-depletion seems problematically difficult to assuage.
I'm never impossible. The most I ever allow myself is to be somewhat unlikely.
I have hope for you, if only because you're the only one left to hope for.