Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.Everything passes.That is the one and only thing that I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell.Everything passes.
Osamu DazaiI thought, โI want to die. I want to die more than ever before. Thereโs no chance now of a recovery. No matter what sort of thing I do, no matter what I do, itโs sure to be a failure, just a final coating applied to my shame. That dream of going on bicycles to see a waterfall framed in summer leavesโit was not for the likes of me. All that can happen now is that one foul, humiliating sin will be piled on another, and my sufferings will become only the more acute. I want to die. I must die. Living itself is the source of sin.
Osamu DazaiI soon came to understand that drink, tobacco and prostitutes were all great means if dissipating (even for a few moments) my dread for human beings. I came even to feel that if I had to sell every last possession to obtain these means of escape, it would be well worth it.
Osamu DazaiAs long as I can make them laugh, it doesnโt matter how, Iโll be alright. If I succeed in that, the human beings probably wonโt mind it too much if I remain outside their lives. The one thing I must avoid is becoming offensive in their eyes: I shall be nothing, the wind, the sky.
Osamu Dazai