And I was incapable of living all by myself in those lodgings where I didn't know a soul. It terrified me to sit by myself quietly in my room. I felt frightened, as if I might be set upon or struck by someone at any moment.
Osamu DazaiI like roses best. But they bloom in all four seasons. I wonder if people who like roses best have to die four times over again.
Osamu DazaiIn my case such an expression as 'to be fallen for' or even 'to be loved' is not in the least appropriate; perhaps it describes the situation more accurately to say that I was 'looked after.
Osamu DazaiI thought, โI want to die. I want to die more than ever before. Thereโs no chance now of a recovery. No matter what sort of thing I do, no matter what I do, itโs sure to be a failure, just a final coating applied to my shame. That dream of going on bicycles to see a waterfall framed in summer leavesโit was not for the likes of me. All that can happen now is that one foul, humiliating sin will be piled on another, and my sufferings will become only the more acute. I want to die. I must die. Living itself is the source of sin.
Osamu Dazai