Married men are horribly tedious when they are good husbands, and abominably conceited when they are not.

Never trust a woman who wears mauve, whatever her age may be, or a woman over thirty-five who is fond of pink ribbons.

A man's life is of more value than a woman's. It has larger issues, wider scope, greater ambitions. Our lives revolve in curves of emotions. It is upon lines of intellect that a man's life progresses. I have just learnt this, and much else with it, from Lord Goring. And I will not spoil your life for you, nor see you spoil it as a sacrifice to me, a useless sacrifice.

The salesman knows nothing of what he is selling save that he is charging a great deal too much for it.

He to whom the present is the only thing that is present, knows nothing of the age in which he lives.

Fruitcake is like semen, there's a lot of it about but no one wants to swallow it

The English public always feels perfectly at ease when a mediocrity is talking to it.