Married men are horribly tedious when they are good husbands, and abominably conceited when they are not.

I'll bet you anything you like that half an hour after they have met, they will be calling each other sister. Women only do that when they have called each other a lot of other things first.

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.

Fantastic shadows of birds

After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.

While we look to the dramatist to give romance to realism, we ask of the actor to give realism to romance.

Anybody can have common sense, provided that they have no imagination.