If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

If the poor only had profiles there would be no difficulty in solving the problem of poverty

In examinations the foolish ask questions that the wise cannot answer.

The worst of it is that I am perpetually being punished for nothing; this governor loves to punish, and he punishes by taking my books away from me. It's perfectly awful to let the mind grind itself away between the upper and nether millstones of regret and remorse without respite; with books my life would be livable -- any life.

Artists reproduce themselves or each other, with wearisome iteration. But criticism is always moving on, and the critic is always developing.

The terror of society, which is the basis of morals, the terror of God, which is the secret of religion-these are the two things that govern us.

Oh, he occasionally takes an alcoholiday.