If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

I prefer women with a past. They're always so damned amusing to talk to.

There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

You can hardly imagine that I and Lord Bracknell would dream of allowing our only daughter - a girl brought up with the utmost care - to marry into a cloak-room, and form an alliance with a parcel?

If there was less sympathy in the world, there would be less trouble in the world.

How strange a thing this is! The Priest telleth me that the Soul is worth all the gold in the world, and the merchants say that it is not worth a clipped piece of silver.

The note of the perfect personality is not rebellion, but peace.