When I am in trouble, eating is the only thing that consoles me. Indeed, as any one who knows me intimately will tell you, I refuse everything except food and drink. At the present moment I am eating muffins because I am unhappy. Besides, I am particularly fond of muffins.

When one pays a visit it is for the purpose of wasting other people's time, not one's own.

The Roman Catholic Church is for saints and sinners alone - for respectable people, the Anglican Church will do.

Two men look out a window. One sees mud, the other sees the stars.

It is love, and not German philosophy, that is the true explanation of the world, whatever may be the explanation of the next.

The fact is, that civilization requires slaves. Human slavery is wrong, insecure, and demoralizing. On mechanical slavery, on the slavery of the machine, the future of the world depends.

Missionaries are going to reform the world whether it wants to or not.