If you want to be witty, say what you think at all times

An idea that isn't risky is hardly worth calling an idea.

LORD ILLINGWORTH What do you think she'd do if I kissed her? MRS ALLONBY Either marry you, or strike you across the face with her glove. What would you do if she struck you across the face with her glove? LORD ILLINGWORTH Fall in love with her, probably.

Oh, he occasionally takes an alcoholiday.

Would you be in any way offended if I said that you seem to me to be in every way the visible personification of absolute perfection?

If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it, I should not mind a bit. But if a friend of mine had a sorrow and refused to allow me to share it, I should feel it most bitterly.

I have learned this: it is not what one does that is wrong, but what one becomes as a consequence of it.