Even before I met you I was far from indifferent to you.

The condition of perfection is idleness: the aim of perfection is youth.

Your machinery is beautiful. Your society people have apologized to me for the envious ridicule with which your newspapers have referred to me. Your newspapers are comic but never amusing. Your Water Tower is a castellated monstrosity with pepperboxes stuck all over it. I am amazed that any people could so abuse Gothic art and make a structure not like a water tower but like a tower of a medieval castle. It should be torn down. It is a shame to spend so much money on buildings with such an unsatisfactory result. Your city looks positively dreary.

Indeed, as any one who has ever worked among the poor knows only too well, the brotherhood of man is no mere poet's dream, it is a most depressing and humiliating reality.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Life is the art of being well deceived, and to succeed, it must be habitual and uninterrupted.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.