A virtuous abstinence from the joys of pederasty comes most easily to those who have no taste for it.

America has never quite forgiven Europe for having been discovered somewhat earlier in history than itself.

All modes of government are failures. Despotism is unjust to everybody, including the despot, who was probably made for better things. Oligarchies are unjust to the many, and ochlocracies are unjust to the few. High hopes were once formed of democracy; but democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people. It has been found out. I must say that it was high time, for all authority is quite degrading. It degrades those who exercise it, and degrades those over whom it is exercised.

Actors are so fortunate. They can choose whether they will appear in tragedy or in comedy, whether they will suffer or make merry, laugh or shed tears. But in real life it is different. Most men and women are forced to perform parts for which they have no qualifications. Our Guildensterns play Hamlet for us, and our Hamlets have to jest like Prince Hal. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

The last person who ever crossed me is dead under my bed!!!

If we're always guided by other people's thoughts, what's the point in having our own?

The only possible form of exercise is to talk, not to walk.