Oh, how I vainly wished to the bearded man in the sky that I was Neapolitan. Why? So I could bring in a fine Neapolitan pest control to help with Queensberry's problem before it gets out of hand.

If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it, I should not mind a bit. But if a friend of mine had a sorrow and refused to allow me to share it, I should feel it most bitterly.

It's not hard to get the ideas when they come. They just come... it's painful waiting for them.

We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.

I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays.

Religions die when they are proved to be true. Science is the record of dead religions.

Civilization is not by means an easy thing to attain to. There are only two ways by which man can reach it. One is by being cultured, the other by being corrupt.