Oh, how I vainly wished to the bearded man in the sky that I was Neapolitan. Why? So I could bring in a fine Neapolitan pest control to help with Queensberry's problem before it gets out of hand.

Oh, no doubt the cod is a splendid swimmer - admirable for swimming purposes but not for eating.

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

In the old days men had the rack. Now they have the Press.

Anybody can sympathise with all the sufferings of the pal, nevertheless it involves an extremely great mother nature to sympathise by using a friend's achievement.

And let me touch those curving claws of yellow ivory; and grasp the tail that like a monstrous asp coils round your heavy velvet paws.

He who stands most remote from his age is he who mirrors it best.