Examinations, sir, are pure humbug from beginning to end. If a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him.

I have spent most of the day putting in a comma and the rest of the day taking it out.

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

The basis of action is lack of imagination. It is the last resource of those who know not how to dream.

It is a vulgar error to suppose that America was ever discovered. It was merely detected.

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

Life would be dull without them.