But what world says that [I'm wicked]? It can only be the next world. This world and I are on excellent terms.

Bore: a man who is never unintentionally rude.

A man who pays his bills on time is soon forgotten.

It is the stupid and the ugly who have the best of it in this world

Arguments are to be avoided: they are always vulgar and often convincing.

Always! That is a dreadful word. It makes me shudder when I hear it. Women are so fond of using it. They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever. It is a meaningless word, too. The only difference between a caprice and a life-long passion is that the caprice lasts a little longer.

A truth ceases to be true when more than one person believes in it.