When one is in town one amuses oneself. When one is in the country one amuses other people. It is excessively boring.

People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it's impossible to count them accurately.

George Moore wrote brilliant English until he discovered grammar.

Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.

As one reads history ... one is absolutely sickened, not by the crimes that the wicked have committed, but by the punishments that the good have inflicted.

Ah, on what little things does happiness depend.

Only the shallow know themselves.