It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

If I hadn't believed it, then I wouldn't have seen it

The only way a woman can ever reform a man is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life.

There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.

JACK Your duty as a gentleman calls you back. ALGERNON My duty as a gentleman has never interfered with my pleasures in the smallest degree.

Romance should never begin with sentiment. It should begin with science and end with a settlement.

Never regret thy fall, O Icarus of the fearless flight For the greatest tragedy of them all Is never to feel the burning light.