The only thing worse than being misquoted is being sentenced to two years' hard labour for buggery

I don't like Switzerland; it has produced nothing but theologians and waiters.

It is a vulgar error to suppose that America was ever discovered. It was merely detected.

When I like people immensely I never tell their names to anyone. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love secrecy.

He is some brainless, beautiful creature, who should always be here in winter when we have no flowers to look at, and always here in the summer when we want something to chill our intelligence.

The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it.

There is no sin except stupidity.