The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

Oh, how I vainly wished to the bearded man in the sky that I was Neapolitan. Why? So I could bring in a fine Neapolitan pest control to help with Queensberry's problem before it gets out of hand.

The fact is, that civilization requires slaves. Unless there are slaves to do the ugly, horrible, uninteresting work, culture and contemplation become almost impossible.

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

It is better to repent a sin than regret the loss of a pleasure.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of the expanding bureaucracy.

He who stands most remote from his age is he who mirrors it best.