I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.

As Shakespeare says, if you're going to do a thing you might as well pop right at it and get it over.

The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide.

Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem we men can never hope to solve.

The only thing that prevented a father's love from faltering was the fact that there was in his possession a photograph of himself at the same early age, in which he, too, looked like a homicidal fried egg.

It would take more than long-stemmed roses to change my view that you're a despicable cowardy custard and a disgrace to a proud family. Your ancestors fought in the Crusades and were often mentioned in despatches, and you cringe like a salted snail at the thought of appearing as Santa Claus before an audience of charming children who wouldn't hurt a fly. It's enough to make an aunt turn her face to the wall and give up the struggle.

There's too much of that where-every-prospect-pleases-and-only-man-is-vile stuff buzzing around for my taste.