I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, "By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater," and we say, "Your point is?"

We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it.

I've decided that my motto in life is "Get off my lawn." It's the right answer to everything.

It's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of, and they can't sue you.

The Soviet constitution guarantees everyone a job. A pretty scary idea, I'd say.

My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family.

How a peaceful, uncrowded place with ample wherewithal stays poor is hard to explain. How a conflict-ridden, grossly over-populated place with no resources whatsoever gets rich is simple. The British colonial government turned Hong Kong into an economic miracle by doing nothing.