Want to play some Battleship?” I wasn’t leaving him alone with that thing in there. Chad armed himself with a notebook, and we went to war. Historically, war has often been used as a distraction for problems at home.

His brother maintained that what sent people backing away was neither his size nor his mother's blood, but solely the expression on his face. To test Samuel's theory, Charles had tried smiling - and then solemnly reported to Samuel that he had been mistaken. When Charles smiled, he told Samuel, people just ran faster.

I think that I can count on the fingers of one hand the times you've actually said the word ‘women' and not replaced it with an epithet referring to female genitalia." "Hey, he's not that bad," Warren said. "Sometimes he calls them cows or whores.

You'd tell the world what your best friend wore to sleep if you thought it made a good enough story.

Mercy," said my mother thoughtfully, "you never told me your werewolf neighbor was quite that hot.

You’re a dead man,” Kyle said. “Warren doesn’t take kindly to people who hurt me.

Paranoia: the gift of the survivor and the burden of the overtired, stressed, and terrified.