Bang! Bang! Bang! Sorry Mr. Yipes, sir, she won't budge!' Put your back into it, man, give it all you've got!' Bang! Bang! Bang!

If you make something your life's work, make sure it's something you can feel proud of when you're an old relic like me.

There was a time when I thought I turned terrible things over in my mind because I read and wrote too many scary stories. (Note self: start writing about unicorns and bunnies)

The size of your body is just right. The only question is whether you're big enough inside.

I really hope that all librarians aren't like Gladys Morgan. Because I'd really like , at some point, to walk into a library and not be afraid for my life.

I killed a guy, maybe two. Possibly three. I have one power. Not two or three or four. Just one. I met a girl, and she changed everything.

There's something darn funny about an old librarian with a potty mouth.