Tune into my new lifetime movie. 'Dislocated shoulder' airing right now.

I'm trying to write a TV show. Ideally it would be just a reality-TV show, getting the guy who played Eddie Winslow and Kirk Cameron to live in a house. The Jehovah's Witnesses would come to the house a lot or something like that. I kind of like the idea of Scientologists and Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses trying to convert Kirk Cameron.

If you can't play guitar and sing in Nashville, you might as well just be a construction worker.

Rock & roll is dying because people became OK with Nickelback being the biggest band in the world.

I see a lot of comments on Twitter and stuff about how ugly I am, how bad I am at the drums, how awkward I look, and I'm like, yeah, I agree with most of those things.

Fast food is the one thing everyone can relate to. It's depressing, but also interesting, that people desire to eat the same sandwich in every single city in the world. But the biggest bummer is when you see a Subway in Berlin. Just devastating.

The best way to catch my attention is to throw a Twinkie near my face.