I'm not a stereotypical professor type. I don't smoke a pipe and wear a tweedy jacket. I'm more like a student who stayed at the university for so long that they gave him a job to keep him out of trouble.

But sometimes the best help a person can find is helping someone else.

I can't count the men who have tried to seduce me away from my virtue by teaching me how to defend it.

That is like throwing two virgins into a bed. Enthusiasm, passion, and ignorance are not a good combination. Someone is likely to get hurt.

Books are a poor substitute for female companionship, but they are easier to find.

Truth is a troublesome motherfucker unless it's handled properly

It's not prowess if you watch 5 hours of TV a day. It's just how you choose to spend your time.