I take responsibility for myself and what I do now.

If the fans want me out, I'll put my hands up and leave. Like a proper man. I won't make excuses, I'll leave.

I would do those 2 years over and over again for the rest of my life

I fought back, got injured again and I had to have another operation. I got down and depressed and I think I was drinking more than I should. Well, I know I was.

I don't know whether I will drink again in my life but I didn't drink yesterday, I am not drinking today and I'll try not to drink again tomorrow.

Because of the booking I will miss the Holland game - if selected.

Everywhere I looked life seemed to be full of problems and they were just going to go on and on. It was never going to get any better.