I have always wanted a mistress who was fat, and I have never found one. To make a fool of me, they are always pregnant.

Stay firmly in your path and dare; be wild two hours a day!

I sit at my door, smoking a cigarette and sipping my absinthe, and I enjoy every day without a care in the world

We never really know what stupidity is until we have experimented on ourselves.

I have always wanted a mistress who was fat, and I have never found one. To make a fool of me, they are always pregnant.

The missionary is no longer a man, a conscience. He is a corpse, in the hands of a confraternity, without family, without love, without any of the sentiments that are dear to us. Emasculated, in a sense, by his vow of chastity, he offers us the distressing spectacle of a man deformed and impotent or engaged in a stupid and useless struggle with the sacred needs of the flesh, a struggle which, seven times out of ten, leads him to sodomy, the gallows, or prison.

There are two sorts of beauty; one is the result of instinct, the other of study. A combination of the two, with the resulting modifications, brings with it a very complicated richness, which the art critic ought to try to discover.