Being in the audience actually looks like quite a lot of fun.

Sadness isn't sadness. It's happiness in a black jacket. Tears are not tears. They're balls of laughter dipped in salt. Death is not death. It's life that's jumped off a tall cliff.

When you're wide awake say it for goodness sake, it's gonna be a great day.

I think the minute you're full up and have had enough to eat, then that's time to retire.

No one is out to break your heart, it only seems that way.

What's wrong with sentimental? Sentimental means you like stuff.

The Pound is sinking, the Peso's failing, the Lira's reeling, and feeling quite appalling.