The trouble with happiness is people don't practice it.

Being rich is living life on your own terms - according to your possibilities, not your limitations.

Lampard fired straight through the middle of a non-existent wall.

I've noticed a funny thing about people who are over-weight. They spend all their time thinking about food -except when they're actually eating it

I quite like convincing the person the broom is their favourite actress. They are talking to a broom and they think it's Julia Roberts and they snog it. In Reading one guy took the broom into the wings and was getting amorous with it. I had a struggle to get it back. He was exhausted when he came out.

Money is one of the rewards you get for adding value to the lives of others.

If you don’t take responsibility for programming yourself, then someone else will.