The story is framed around [avid Petraeus] resignation. So many headlines that followed talked about his ruined career. They completely ignore the fact that my career was ruined, other peoples' careers were ruined. They focus on him as the victim.

My local paper, The New York Times, Yahoo News, CBS, and The Washington Post, all agreed to stop using the word 'mistress.' The big one was the Associated Press. They made a style change, and it's the gold standard that sets the guide for news outlets around the world. That's a small step for the American language, a medium step for feminism, and a huge step for me personally.

If I'm strong, I'm not going to apologize for being strong.

My peers are all in sensitive jobs - at the C.I.A., the National Security Council, working for the Department of Defense. They can't stand up for me in public.

I was encouraged, though, because I saw feminist writers - male and female - calling out the bias. I feel like more and more writers are cognizant of the problems and are willing to try to challenge them.

My husband and I each had careers and two babies at home. They just demand everything from you. All the domestic duties fell to me and this resentment builds, as I think happens to a lot of young parents who have competing careers.

I had been sort of a rising star - an athlete, a scholar, a leader. My dream was to become a high-level national security adviser.