With the money I'm making, I should be playing two positions.

Pressure? Well it ain't hitting in forty-four straight games, because I done that and it was fun. The playoffs are pressure.

Am I still in uniform? Then I ain't retired.

If I had been busted for drugs instead of gambling, I'd still be managing the Reds and baseball would be paying for my rehab.

If baseball wants to get you, they've got enough resources and enough investigators that they'll find a way to get you.

Every time I step up to the plate, I expect to get a hit. If I don't expect to get a hit, I have no right to step into the batter's box in the first place.

What's the game coming to? Evidently the guys making all these rules never played the game of baseball.