Playing with your spouse on the golf course runs almost as great a marital risk as getting caught playing with someone else's anywhere else.

I may know I am better than an 18, but the computer absorbs my scores year after year and continues to tell me that is what I am. Therein lies the tragedy of golf. We know what we should be, but there is always some number telling us what it is.

There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else playing golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn't that set your blood racing?

Have you ever actually listened to golfers talking to each other? "Looked good starting out..." "Better direction than last time..." "Who's away?..." It sounds like visitors' day at a home for the criminally insane.

Playing with your spouse on the golf course runs almost as great a marital risk as getting caught playing with someone else's anywhere else.