A rugby tour is like sex. When its good it's great, and when it's bad - hey! It's still pretty good!

Forwards are the gnarled and scarred creatures who have a propensity for running into and bleeding all over each other.

Before every game he played Willie Ofahengaue would pray. But it to us it was never clear whether he prayed for himself or for the safety of the opposition!

Rugby backs can be identified because they generally have clean jerseys and identifiable partings in their hair... come the revolution the backs will be the first to be lined up against the wall and shot for living parasitically off the work of others.

A rugby tour is like sex. When its good it's great, and when it's bad - hey! It's still pretty good!