UNESCO provides protection for the great cultural institutions. There is something called the intangible cultural heritage list. And the Italians want to put Neapolitan pizza on it. But in order to do that, you have to show that whatever it is that you're trying to protect is under threat. And pizza is totally under threat from Pizza Hut and Domino's...

Our politicians screw up all the time, as we see. But with so many things, we're no longer the world leader in that.

If the internet has taught us anything, it's that you want less news and more cats.

If we had known there was biting in soccer, we would have started watching years ago.

With two years till the nomination, both [Joe] Biden and [Hillary] Clinton are positioning themselves to be the Democratic nominee. And are they stressing their experience, their ideas, their excellent hair? No. They've been talking about their poverty.

I love Salt Lake City. It's beautiful with all the great outdoors around you.

In the old days, we painstakingly copied our emails onto paper, put a stamp on them and mailed them to arrive 4 to 5 days later. We also churned our own butter and used our phones for talking.