There are two kinds of individuals on Planet Earth who do not have beards - women and youth.

I just think society, our culture and our world would be better off if we just loved God and loved our neighbor and did what was right. You know, our founding fathers... They all were godly men. Someone told me one time, "Yeah, but they made mistakes." I said, "So have we. We've all made mistakes." I said, "But they founded the greatest nation on earth and we didn't, and that's the difference right there."

Crawfish have ding dongs and vaginas.

Where there is no Jesus, evil always reigns.

We’re Bible-thumpers who just happened to end up on television. You put in your article that the Robertson family really believes strongly that if the human race loved each other and they loved God, we would just be better off. We ought to just be repentant, turn to God, and let’s get on with it, and everything will turn around.

I'm with the blacks, because we’re white trash. We’re going across the field … They’re singing and happy. I never heard one of them, one black person, say, ‘I tell you what: These doggone white people’ - not a word!

God says, 'One woman, one man,' and everyone says, 'Oh, that's old hat, that's that old Bible stuff,'" he said. "But I'm thinking, well let's see now. A clean guy - a disease-free guy and a disease-free woman - they marry and they keep their sex between the two of them. They're not going to get chlamydia, and gonorrhea, and syphilis, and AIDS. It's safe.