Happiness puts on as many shapes as discontent, and there is nothing odder than the satisfaction of one's neighbor.

Gossip isn't scandal and it's not merely malicious. It's chatter about the human race by lovers of the same.

Ah! some love Paris, / And some Purdue. / But love is an archer with a low I.Q. / A bold, bad bowman, and innocent of pity. / So I'm in love with / New York City.

The ability to forget a sorrow is childhood's most enchanting feature.

Tomorrow will come and today will pass, / But the hearts of the young are brittle as glass.

Meanness inherits a set of silverware and keeps it in the bank. Economy uses it only on important occasions, for fear of loss. Thrift sets the table with it every night for pure pleasure, but counts the butter spreaders before they are put away.

Sin has always been an ugly word, but it has been made so in a new sense over the last half-century. It has been made not only ugly but pass?. People are no longer sinful, they are only immature or underprivileged or frightened or, more particularly, sick.