There is no choice between being kind to others, and being kind to ourselves. It is the same thing.

Awareness by itself is not enough: it must be joined by mastery. We need gradually to develop a steering ability to keep ourselves from slipping mechanically into this or that sub-personality. Thus we become able to identify with each part of our being as we wish. We can have more choice. It is the difference between being impotently transported by a roller coaster and, instead, driving a car and being able to choose which way to go and for what purpose to make the journey.

Something similar happens on the other side of the equation: Giving kindness does us as much good as receiving it. . . . The true benefit of kindness is being kind. Perhaps more than any other factor, kindness gives meaning and value to our life, raises us above our troubles and our battles, and makes us feel good about ourselves.

If we live in the here and now, each moment is a surprise, every instant a new wonder. But it often fails to work this way. Onto the present we superimpose our expectations and opinions, based on the past or future. We meet someone, and we already anticipate what he/she will be like and what they will say.

Inspiration comes whenever it wants, even at the most unlikely times and in the most inappropriate situations. Often it arrives bit by bit. Therefore it must be anchored, and this is where a most valuable item makes its appearance: the notebook.

The factors that contributed to my growth were many - finding someone who understood me, exploring the unconscious, awakening my latent love . . . but one star is brightest among all: the self. I found the source of livingness inside me, something I didn't even know existed.

If kindness has falseness at its base, it is no longer kindness. It is labored courtesy.