Non-pantheist models for god seem almost completely untenable to me, though not without interest.

Anyway, to cut off one's biological dreams seems to me the most fundamental form of psychic castration that you could imagine.

I understand that words can mean different things to different people, and, further, that people can have different relationships with complex abstract entities such as Buddhism. To me, anyway, the entity in my life that conflicts with my creativity is Buddhism.

I suppose I could say that to be interested in innocence already suggests a remove from innocence, perhaps a longing for something that is lost.

I never went to church as a child. I did not .

Apart from the underlying mystery of all things, there is also another possible specific mystery in this situation: Why did I become so interested in Buddhism, Zen and so on? I seem to have a Buddhist voice in my head, and someone asked me about this recently, saying he was intrigued.

I've drifted in and out of vegetarianism for years.