I just went to work for a vampire, was scared by a spider, and got knocked down by a tanning bomb. And that’s just my day, not my week.

Michael held me when I got inside, because I was shaking all over. That felt so good. Warm all the way down. Did I mention Michael’s feet? They’re all the way sexy, and he’s always barefoot – he hates shoes. I wish he hated pants and shirts, too.

Shane settled his flamethrower more comfortably on his shoulders. “Ladies? After you.” “Rude,” Claire said. “I was being polite!” “Not when you have a flamethrower.

shane:you only love me for my abs clair:shut up loser shift off

What’s burning?” “Your brain.

Great," Shane said. "Look i'd rather not be on janitorial duty. I have allergies to cleaners." "And to cleaning," Michael said. "Look who's talking, Didn't the do one of those Animal Planet documentaries about the roaches in your room?

That's kind of a leap, but the Russian judge gave you a nine point five for style, so okay.