I just went to work for a vampire, was scared by a spider, and got knocked down by a tanning bomb. And that’s just my day, not my week.

If you ask me if I’m imagining it again, I’m going to punch you out, Dead Man Walking.” Michael raised his eyebrows and glanced at Eve. “He doesn’t sound crazy.” “Er,” she clarified, “crazier. He sounds like he’s back to normal, which is baseline crazy.

I am not getting you a brain, because I am not that kind of assistant, Dr. Frankenstein.

Shane looked…pale. Pale and shaken and—how predictable was this?—pissed.

Shane, honey, in Morganville, friends are the only things that keep you alive.

You okay?" he asked me. I nodded, unable to say anything that would really cover how I felt. "Then get out of the way." "Huh?" "Your legs. Please

See?" he said, with an unholy amount of glee. "I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more often." "No. Trust me, you shouldn't," Eve said. "Think of all the little old people and the children.