Don't we look suspicious, the three of us just sitting here in the car?" Borden asked. We'd look a lot more suspicious if we were all three making out in the car," Jazz said. "What?" she added, when Borden turned and gave her a wide-eyed look. You have no idea what kind of happy place you just took me to." Shut up.

My vampire boss, who would like to maybe be my boyfriend, just dropped in to tell me he was running away because Morganville’s too dangerous.

Well, I can throw a mean comeback, so there's that. I will crush them on wit.

Shane: "Bro," he said, in an injured tone, "I had to go out with a flamethrower, and you weren't there to see it." Michael: "Pics or it didn't happen." Shane: "Dude, little busy for pics. You know, throwing flame." - Black Dawn

Shane? Thank God, somebody sane. Well, sane-ish.

The author wishes to thank: Good fortune, Godiva chocolates, and Slim-Fast

What’s burning?” “Your brain.