It's not the loving that hurts this girl; it's the understanding of it for what it is, that it will never be returned in the same way, that threatens to destroy her. But to unload the words - "I love you" - on an innocent party who didn't ask for it, to reach across the dark space and touch him - it's like the world she knows could end if she dared speak these words, dared make such a move.
Rachel CohnI was horribly bookish, to the point of coming right out and saying it, which I knew was not socially acceptable.
Rachel CohnBruises mapped my body from bumping into tables and tripping over curbs while walking with a book in my hand, my eyes focused on the pages instead of the live space around me.
Rachel CohnBut I know the difference. Everyone else is a ghost. I exist here alone, stranded by choice. Deserted.
Rachel CohnWhat Iโm sorry about is not being a tipsy idiot when you found me. Iโm sorry about that, obviously, but more sorry that my stupidity caused us to lose a great opportunity. I donโt imagine you would have met me and fallen crazy in love with me, but I would like to think that if youโd had a chance to meet me under different circumstances, something just as nice could have happened. We could have become friends.
Rachel Cohn