Bruises mapped my body from bumping into tables and tripping over curbs while walking with a book in my hand, my eyes focused on the pages instead of the live space around me.

There are just lots of possibilities in the world...I need to keep my mind open for what could happen and not decide that the world is hopeless if what I want to happen doesn't happen. Because something else great might happen in between.

All this hoping for nothing-or someone-that's maybe hopeless

Dumped doesn't even begin to describe it. If you're going to use a trash metaphor, incinerated is more like it.

But I know the difference. Everyone else is a ghost. I exist here alone, stranded by choice. Deserted.

Answer all the questions that I'm too afraid to ask

I want to believe there is a somebody out there for me. I want to believe that I exist to be there for that somebody.