Roses are red, violets are blue, so are my balls thanks to you.

As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.

As a man seeing someone, have a decision: You can be correct or you can be glad.

My father passed on one important piece of relationship advice before he died. He said son, in a relationship you can either be right or you can be happy. You'll soon find out that you don't care that much about being right.

Jesus was a pothead- long hair, beard, sandals, carpenter- do the math it all adds up. Living with twelve guys with no visible means of support.

If you want to be called a dwarf you must be in immediate possession of a battle axe cause otherwise your just a midget with an attitude.

I live in a very dangerous part of Los Angeles? it's called Los Angeles.