Programs like 'Jeopardy' and 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' are ridiculous. They're the stupidest shows in history. They're making us dumber. They don't give us information, they give us facts, factoids. You don't learn who Napoleon was and how he was motivated. You learn what year he was born, and when he died. That's useless.

I spent three days a week for 10 years educating myself in the public library, and it's better than college.

In order to be creative, you don't have to be original.

I have total recall. I remember being born. I remember being in the womb, I remember being inside. Coming out was great.

A book has got to smell. You have to hold it in your hands and pray to it.

The purpose of fiction is not to nail you to the ground as facts do, but to take you to the edge of the cliff and kick you off so you build your wings on the way down.

I don't believe in being serious about anything. I think life is too serious to be taken seriously.