It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.

The English may not always be the best writers in the world, but they are incomparably the best dull writers.

That's one thing I like about Hollywood. The writer is there revealed in his ultimate corruption. He asks no praise, because his praise comes to him in the form of a salary check. In Hollywood the average writer is not young, not honest, not brave, and a bit overdressed. But he is darn good company, which book writers as a rule are not. He is better than what he writes. Most book writers are not as good.

Common sense is the guy who tells you that you ought to have had your brakes relined last week before you smashed a front end this week. Common sense is the Monday morning quarterback who could have won the ball game if he had been on the team. But he never is. He's high up in the stands with a flask on his hip. Common sense is the little man in a grey suit who never makes a mistake in addition. But it's always someone else's money he's adding up.

He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.

The test of a writer is whether you want to read him again years after he should by the rules be dated.

There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others.