the reward for total abstinence from alcohol seems, illogically enough, to be the capacity for becoming intoxicated without it.

The aged are terrible - mere heaps of cinders on the grass from which none can tell how tall the flames once were or what company gathered round them.

Women know the damnation of charity because the habit of civilization has always been to throw them cheap alms rather than give them good wages.

the bad is more easily perceived than the good. A fresh lobster does not give such pleasure to the consumer as a stale one will give him pain.

There is no wider gulf in the universe than yawns between those on the hither and thither side of vital experience.

Idiocy is the female defect ... It is no worse than the male defect, which is lunacy.

If the whole human race lay in one grave, the epitaph on its headstone might well be: 'It seemed like a good idea at the time.'