What do I believe in? Belief means faith, and there's only one damned thing in the world I have any faith in. That's the idea of American democracy, because it seems to me so obvious that that's the only sensible way to run human affairs.

If your ego is in good shape you will pretend you're surprised if a National Chairman calls you to tell you his party wants to nominate you for President of the United States, but you're not really surprised.

Subtlety chases the obvious up a never-ending spiral and never quite catches it.

In a world that operates largely at random, coincidences are to be expected, but any one of them must always be mistrusted.

The trouble with an alarm clock is that what seems sensible when you set it seems absurd when it goes off

I try to know what I need to know. I make sure to know what I want to know. (Nero Wolfe)

I love to make a mistake. It is my only assurance that I cannot reasonably be expected to assume the responsibility of omniscience.