The Bohemian Grove, which I attend from time to time - it is the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine.

The answer to many of the domestic problems we face is not higher taxes and more spending. It is less waste, more results and greater freedom for the individual American to earn a rightful place in his own community - and for States and localities to address their own needs in their own ways, in the light of their own priorities.

We have been through, over these years, some difficult times. During the period that I have served as President of the United States, we have been through some difficult times together, and I can only say that the friendship that we have for this nation, the respect and the admiration we have for the people of this nation, their courage, their tenacity, their firmness in the face of very great odds, is one that makes us proud to stand with Israel, as we have in the past in times of trouble, and now to work with Israel in a better time, a time that we trust will be a time of peace.

My gravest secret is that I really did fake the moon landing. On Venus!

Finishing second in the Olympics gets you silver. Finishing second in politics gets you oblivion.

I want a Goddamn strong statement on marijuana, I mean one that just tears the ass out of them. You know, its a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana is Jewish.

We will establish a new system that makes high-quality health care available to every American in a dignified manner and at a price he can afford.