If I had a dog, I'd train him to kill on command. And the command I'd use would be, "Is he friendly?"

Cigarettes don't kill people - cancer kills people.

If I had a dog, I'd train him to kill on command. And the command I'd use would be, "Is he friendly?"

Whenever I have a birthday, I think back over the past year, how I've spent my time, what I've accomplished, what regrets I have, how I've tried to make the world a better place, and what exactly I've been doing with my life over the past 365 days, and I think to myself: 'Man, I wish I'd gotten laid more'.

If there's anything Breaking 2: Electric Boogaloo has taught me, it's that breakdancing is the key to financial solvency.